


I Really Loved Her (But Now She’s Gone)

by BananaChef



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Alcohol, Brother to Brother Talking, Depression, Drinking & Talking, F/M, Hurt Theseus Scamander, Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Introspection, Newt Doesn't Drink, Newt is a good brother, Protective Newt Scamander, Talking, Theseus Is Depressed, Understanding How They've Both Changed Over the Years, almost, but after he showers, like at all, theseus needs a hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-29
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-10-30 06:30:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,369
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20810096
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BananaChef/pseuds/BananaChef
Summary: Theseus is wallowing in his misery when Newt, determined as all hell, shows up to drag his older brother on his feet.





	I Really Loved Her (But Now She’s Gone)

**Author's Note:**

> Post-Crimes of Grindelwald.

Theseus looked haggard: his hair was greasy and tangled, his clothes were days old and extremely rumpled, and his eyes were sunken, had bags under them, and were puffy, red, and bloodshot. In short, the last thing he should’ve been doing was grabbing another bottle of vodka (who _ knows _ the proof count) from his special store in the cellar of his small London townhouse.

Except, that’s _ exactly _ what he was doing.

He’d been saving the bottles for his and Leta’s honeymoon, though he supposed they didn’t need to be saved anymore. It’s not as if she’d be able to drink them.

_ She’s dead. _ The thought resonated in his hollow mind. Theseus walked up a flight of stairs and opened the door into his living area. He plopped down on the couch and opened the bottle of vodka, taking a sip of the numbing drink.

He took a deep breath and sighed, setting the bottle on a side table. He rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times.

_ My life is completely empty without Leta_, he thought sullenly. Theseus picked up his bottle and was about to take another sip when a freckled hand snatched it away from him.

“Vodka, Thee, really?” Newt chided. “Isn’t this something you’d want to save for a special occasion?”

Theseus covered his face with his hands and massaged the areas around his eyes, sighing heavily.

“Yes, well, I was saving it for my honeymoon, but in case you haven’t noticed yet, it’s been canceled, along with any other life plans I had.”

He could practically feel his younger brother’s worry, and took his hands away from his face, staring at the skinny man. _ How did he get in without me hearing him? _

“You should really take a shower,” Newt suggested lightly.

“Then I’d sober up and think about Leta,” Theseus offered weakly.

Newt just stared at his older brother blankly before giving a carefully measured reaction.

“Why would that be so horrible...?” he asked slowly, inspecting the vodka bottle to avoid looking at his brother.

“How to explain...” Theseus muttered, words laced with anger. “Well, I’d rather not have the memory of my fiancée burning to death playing in my mind on repeat. I’d _ like _ to sit on this couch and—”

“Nurse a bottle of vodka?” Newt interjected from his perch on the arm of the couch. “Do you honestly expect me to believe that Leta would have wanted you to let yourself waste away like this?“

“We don’t know what she would have wanted—” Theseus started.

“Well it’s not this,” said Newt decisively.

Theseus massaged his temples and the magizoologist watched with concern.

“You don’t understand what I’m going through,” the auror started frustratedly. “You didn’t lose a loved one! You’re not even mourning for her death! I thought you two used to be friends, yet you haven’t shed a tear!”

Newt gazed miserably at the bottle of vodka in his hand and took a swig, just barely managing to swallow it. Theseus almost smiled at that.

“You don’t drink, do you?”

“Nope. Yuck!” muttered Newt.

“Let me explain to you why I have decided to nurse a bottle of vodka and not shower or change my clothes,” Theseus told his brother with a sigh, snatching the bottle from his brother. “Imagine if the person you love the most in the world was killed, and you had to go home, not do anything about it, and just mourn, without a funeral. No funeral means no speech for me to point out Leta’s perfections. The world will just go on believing that she’s a horrible person, just like her father.”

Newt shuddered at his mental image, but came to his senses and snatched the vodka bottle away from Theseus once more.

“I understand why you’re so upset, but I’m not going to let you drink away your problems. Nagini, Yusuf, Tina, and Jacob are staying at my house for the time being, and if accommodating you as well is what it takes to get you up and running again, I will gladly do it.”

Theseus grumbled something unintelligible and raked his greasy hair back with a hand. Newt put his hand on his brother’s shoulder and opened his mouth to speak.

“Thee, I’m going to help you, whether you want me to or not. We just made up after, what—” He paused, and did some quick math. “Twenty-three years? Wow, we haven’t gotten along in twenty-three years…”

“Not for my lack of trying...” Theseus quipped.

“...for my lack of understanding,” Newt finished. His older brother had told him this many times in the past. “Look, I’m tired of acting like the older brother. It’s your job to pester me about getting off my ass and doing something, not vice versa.”

He paused, and Theseus examined his younger brother. Newt looked older, more mature. Definitely not the same naïve boy that had been expelled from Hogwarts all those years ago. Smarter. More experienced.

“Alright, I’ll stay with you. I don’t have any food here anyway. All I keep thinking about is all the times I shared with Leta here.” Theseus sighed, and then raised his eyebrow. “Since when have you called me ’Thee?’”

“Since today,” Newt answered, getting off the arm of the couch. “Is there anything you want to get off your chest before I go?”

Theseus sighed for the nth time and looked at his brother. Newt was such a kind soul, always doing what he believed to be right. He was too good for this world. Theseus and Newt hadn’t really gotten along since Newt was seven, yet he was perfectly ready to care for his older brother in the wake of Leta’s death.

“I really loved her—_Leta_. I hope you know that.” Thee looked at Newt, searching for understanding in his brother’s eyes. “You were so upset when you found out we were together.”

Newt decided to speak up, explaining his reaction.

“It was just a little shocking to me. I mean, the woman who used to be my best and only friend was suddenly engaged to my brother, who I didn’t really get along with. It was like two bad, destructive forces were joining together specifically to make my life worse. But you two really love—_loved—_each other, and so I reluctantly agreed to be the best man at your wedding, if only so you would stop pestering me.”

Theseus leaned back on the couch.

“I wouldn’t have proposed if you hadn’t given me your blessing, you know. You were the closest thing Leta had to any _ real _family, even if you hadn’t talked to her in years.”

Newt actually looked a little surprised at that.

“Really?” the thirty-year-old asked.

“Of course! I mean, I would’ve proposed _ eventually_, but only after you had gotten used to Leta and I being together. You’re my younger brother, Newt. I wasn’t trying to hurt you when we were kids, and I wasn’t about to do that then.”

Newt stared at the ground pensively for a while, before voicing a question.

“The reason I’m not extremely upset about Leta’s death,” he started slowly, “is because I’d already lost her. Our friendship, relationship—whatever it was—had fallen apart, and I’d already mourned. Leta’s death only means that I’ll never be able to fix our relationship, but I honestly don’t know if I ever would have been ready for that.”

“I see,” was all Theseus said, and an awkward silence ensued. “Well, uh, I’ll go take a shower and meet you at your house.”

He looked up at his younger brother and tried to give a small smile, but ended up giving a grimace.

“I’ll get out of your hair, then, Thee,” Newt said, fixing his coat and exiting the house through the front door.

_Leta wouldn’t have wanted me to live like this. She would have wanted me to take a shower and get off my ass. She would’ve wanted me to help with the fight against_ _Grindelwald, and I can’t do that very well if I’m not sober._

So, Theseus took a shower, changed into clean clothes, Apparated to his brother’s house, and was welcomed with open arms by its inhabitants.


End file.
